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Thursday, August 11, 2011

Amylee Nicoll, Mrs., M.O.M.

Is it selfish to say that I think my friend Kalie wrote this post on her blog just so that I could read it? She always writes about motherhood so eloquently.

I've been feeling so "ho hum" lately. I'm feeling really sad for myself that I have never been able to finish my education- and feel like I never will. I just feel so... stuck? I'm not sure if that's the right word.

Lots of choices have led me to where I am in my life. I'm grateful for my husband, my family and where we live and everything. Don't get me wrong. I am very blessed, and I can honestly say that I am happy. And I guess it's not bad that I still want MORE. We are supposed to progress.

I don't even know what I'm saying here. It's after midnight and Dallas is away for work and I'm rambling on a blog post.

I guess I'm just sad.

I write this, and at the same time, I can't even say how wonderful my kids were today. Annie cried so hard she threw up, and Will crashed on his scooter and got some serious road rash, but through it all, I was a good Mom today. I love them so much that right now I can't imagine spending a moment away from them. I kept them up late tonight just so I could be with them for a little longer.

I'm happy to be a Mom. It is what I have wanted to be since I was a little girl. Even if I had a degree, I would choose to stay home with my children anyway. So why do I fuss over it?

I'm sure one day I'll have a degree. Today just isn't that day. So, chin up, Amy. After all, today I experienced all of the joy I need in this life. (And it didn't come rolled up with a ribbon around it.)


Terra said...

Amy you are an amazing mom and person! I am not even lying when I say that more often than not, I think I need to be more like you. I even think when I have questions about things that I should call you cuz you know lots! And then I don't because I think that would be weird.

marciea casselman said...

Amen to you too.

Andra said...

When I am at work, I long to be home; organizing, cooking, running errands. When I am at home I think of how much fun I have at work. I think it's about the seasons in our lives, and they change just as winter moves to fall, and spring to summer. The trick is to believe that it's okay to feel whatever you're feeling, then be where you are.

Clayton And Leslee Family said...

We All have those days... At least you are some what Close to having a degree. I have one year of school down, don't know what I would even get a degree in, AND Work Full time and don't get to see my kids. But I agree with you. Life is great and I am Happy. Sometimes the Grass just looks better on the other side. We want our Cake and Eat it too. That is why we have Family and Friends to keep us Smiling and enjoying TODAY. Love ya

Erin said...

I can't imagine you being sad, you are one of the happiest and most positive people I know! I have absolutely no doubt that you will finish school if that is what you desire. You sacrifice for what means most to you.

Lucky me, I get to see you two days in a row next week!

kalie said...

I am happy you are happy with your "job," even if it doesn't come summa cum l aude. (Isaac is helping me type.) This is the kind of happy we will never regret. And I agree with Andra: there are seasons. That is why I am so happy now--I waited for my season.

sNick said...

I've started training for my teaching assistantship and next week I start classes for my master's. I would trade you places tomorrow. My degree won't be worth much in heaven. You are gaining eternal education. I aspire to that kind of diploma. Keep it up, Amylee, you're an example to me.