There are some things that I really need to get off my chest about the contestants on season 9 of American Idol. Let's just go down the row, shall we?
Tim Urban: Probably has a future career in High School Musical 4. He just screams Disney.
Siobahn Magnus: There aren't really words. You just kind of freak me out. Also, do you have a cold? Sometimes I think you have a cold.
Crystal Bowersox: Thank goodness for Crest White-strips.
Katie Stevens: A dime a dozen.
Michael Lynche: The only reason you are still on is because you could literally squash every producer... probably at the same time. Can we say "Ruben Studdard II"?
Casey James: AKA Kara's pet. Her giddy smile is a little bit creepy when you take the stage. Little bit.
Lee Dewyze: I like you. Glad you figured yourself out in the last few weeks. Rock on, Brotha'.
Andrew Garcia: I had high hopes for you, but you continue to suck, week after week. Also, you probably shouldn't ever be onstage without your guitar.
Aaron Kelly: We now know that 13 year-old girls vote in droves.